Boo. I'm really bored, and I swore I'd keep up with this thing. I hate making new accounts on websites and just ignoring them after a day or two.
Anyway, I visited my grandfather today. And when it was time to leave, I got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach to stay. I felt so guilty leaving so quickly. We went to his house for like 45 minutes, then he took us all out to dinner. He paid a fortune, and on top of that, handed everyone $20. And after we walked out of the restaurant, we went home.
I haven't spoken to my Dad in over a year. From time to time, he'll send us cards with scratch off tickets in them or texts to make him feel better about himself. Meanwhile, my grandfather spent nearly $200 on us total, in just one night. It was so nice of him, but I don't want to do that again. I want to go back to us cooking him a big dinner and spending a few hours at his house.
He's 79 years old now, walks without a cane, and still plays golf 3 days a week. His only problem is that he has a defibrillator. Besides that, he's in perfect health, and totally unafraid of dying. He knows he's old. He's okay with it. I, on the other hand, am not. It's been a long time since someone I know died, and it really affected me. And despite his health, I'm becoming more aware that he's older, and could die soon. And it scares me. I love my grandfather. He's my last grandparent. The only other grandparent who I was as close to was his wife, my grandmother. And losing her messed me up as a kid for a while.
I'm trying to be optimistic, though. He's happy, and therefore, I should be too. Seeing me, my sister and brother today MADE his day. I just want to go more often. Especially since I have so much free time.
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